A lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced five husbands.

On their wedding night, she told her new husband, “Please be gentle, I’m still a virgin.” “What?” said the puzzled groom. “How can that be if you’ve been married five times?”

“Well, Husband 1 was a sales representative; he kept telling me how great it was going to be.

Husband 2 was an engineer; he understood the basic process but wanted three years to research, implement, and design a new state-of-the-art method.

Husband 3 was in marketing; although he had a nice product, he was never sure how to position it.

Husband 4 was a psychologist; all he ever did was talk about it.

Husband 5 was a stamp collector; all he ever did was… God! I miss him!

But now that I’ve married you, I’m really excited!” “Good,” said the lawyer, “but why?” “You’re a lawyer!” she replies. “This time I know I’m going to get screwed.”