The Man in Three Seats

An old man was lying across three entire seats in a crowded movie theater, stretched out awkwardly and barely moving.

People nearby kept glancing at him, annoyed that he was taking up so much space. Finally, an usher noticed and quietly walked over.

Leaning down, he whispered, “Sorry, sir, but you’re only allowed one seat.”

The old man didn’t answer. He just let out a painful groan.

The usher frowned. “Sir, please. You can’t lie across three seats. Other people need somewhere to sit.”

Again, the old man only groaned and stayed exactly where he was.

The usher, now losing patience, straightened up and said, “Sir, if you don’t get up from there, I’m going to have to call the manager.”

The old man still didn’t move.

A few moments later, the usher returned with the manager. Together, they tried talking to the old man, urging him to sit up and move into just one seat. But no matter what they said, he only groaned weakly.

Finally, the manager sighed and called the police.

A police officer arrived, looked at the old man sprawled across the seats, then crouched beside him.

“All right, buddy,” the officer said. “What’s your name?”

“Fred,” the old man moaned.

The officer nodded. “Okay, Fred. Where ya from?”

With terrible pain in his voice, and without moving a muscle, Fred replied,

“The balcony.”

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