The Mule at the Funeral

An old hillbilly farmer had a wife who nagged him from morning until night.

Breakfast was too late.

The coffee was too weak.

The tractor was too loud.

The weather was somehow also his fault.

The only peace he ever got was when he went out to plow the fields with his old mule.

So naturally, he plowed a lot.

One afternoon, his wife brought lunch out to the field.

The farmer stopped the mule under a shady tree, sat on a stump, and opened his lunch.

Before he could take three bites, the complaints started.

“You missed a spot.”

“You’re sitting wrong.”

“You chew too loudly.”

The mule’s ears twitched.

The farmer kept eating.

The nagging continued.

Suddenly, the old mule kicked backward with both hind legs and struck the woman squarely in the head.

She died instantly.

Several days later, at the funeral, the minister noticed something unusual.

Whenever a woman approached the farmer, she would speak quietly, and the farmer would nod his head in agreement.

But whenever a man came over, the farmer would listen, then firmly shake his head no.

This happened again and again.

Finally, the minister asked him about it.

The old farmer explained,

“Well, the women would come up and say something about how nice my wife looked, or how pretty her dress was, so I’d nod my head in agreement.”

“And what about the men?” the minister asked.

“They wanted to know if the mule was for sale.”

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