A husband texted his wife at 6:30 p.m.

“Hey, I’m going to be home late.”

He expected the usual response.

“Okay.”

Or maybe, “Dinner is in the fridge.”

Instead, his phone buzzed with only three words:

“Take your time.”

He stared at the message.

Something was wrong.

Very wrong.

A married man knows there are many dangerous phrases in life. “We need to talk” is bad. “Do whatever you want” is worse. But “Take your time” is the silent alarm of marriage.

He immediately stopped walking toward the bar where his friends were waiting.

He texted back, “What do you mean?”

No reply.

He called.

No answer.

Now he was sweating.

He thought about everything he had done recently.

Did he forget their anniversary?

No, that was in August.

Was today August?

He checked the date.

Not August.

Did he leave laundry in the washing machine again?

Possibly.

Did he eat the last slice of cake?

Definitely.

Was the cake important?

All cake is important.

He turned around and headed home.

On the way, he bought flowers.

Then chocolates.

Then a bottle of wine.

Then, out of fear, he bought a mop.

When he arrived home, he opened the door carefully.

“Honey?”

No answer.

He walked into the kitchen.

His wife was sitting at the table, calm, smiling, drinking tea.

That made it worse.

He placed the gifts on the table.

“Flowers,” he said.

She smiled.

“Thank you.”

“Chocolate.”

“Lovely.”

“Wine.”

“Nice.”

He lifted the mop.

“And… a symbol of personal growth.”

She stared at him.

“Why are you acting weird?”

He swallowed.

“You said ‘Take your time.’”

She looked confused.

“Yes. I meant take your time.”

He sat down slowly.

“So… you’re not angry?”

“No.”

“You didn’t discover anything?”

She narrowed her eyes.

“Discover what?”

He froze.

She put down her tea.

“What did you do?”

He looked at the flowers. Then the chocolate. Then the wine. Then the mop.

Finally, he whispered:

“I think I would like a lawyer.”