Video: Take Note This Christmas

Please be advised that all members planning to dash through the snow in a one-horse open sleigh, going over the fields and laughing all the way are required to undergo a Risk Assessment addressing the safety of open sleighs.

This assessment must also consider whether it is appropriate to use only one horse for such a venture, particularly where there are multiple passengers.  Please note that permission must also be obtained in writing from landowners before their fields may be entered.

To avoid offending those not participating in celebrations, we request that laughter is moderate only and not loud enough to be considered a noise nuisance.

Benches, stools and orthopaedic chairs are now available for collection by any shepherds planning or required to watch their flocks at night.  While provision has also been made for remote monitoring of flocks by CCTV cameras from a centrally heated shepherd observation hut, all facility users are reminded that an emergency response plan must be submitted to account for known risks to the flocks.

The angel of the Lord is additionally reminded that prior to shining his/her glory all around s/he must confirm that all shepherds are wearing appropriate Personal Protective Equipment to account for the harmful effects of UVA, UVB and the overwhelming effects of Glory.

Following last year’s well publicised case, everyone is advised that EC legislation prohibits any comment with regard to the redness of any part of Mr. R. Reindeer.  Further to this, exclusion of Mr. R Reindeer from reindeer games will be considered discriminatory and disciplinary action will be taken against those found guilty of this offence.

While it is acknowledged that gift-bearing is commonly practised in various parts of the world, everyone is reminded that the bearing of gifts is subject to Hospitality Guidelines and all gifts must be registered.  This applies regardless of the individual, even royal personages.  It is particularly noted that direct gifts of currency or gold are specifically precluded under provisions of the Foreign Corrupt Practices Act.

Further, caution is advised regarding other common gifts, such as aromatic resins that may initiate allergic reactions.

Finally, in the recent case of the infant found tucked up in a manger without any crib for a bed, Social Services have been advised and will be arriving shortly.

Compliance of these guidelines is advised in order for you to fully participate with the festive spirit.

Related Posts

PIN: The Amish Traffic Stop

An Amish woman was driving her horse and buggy into town to buy supplies when she was stopped by a highway patrolman. “I’m not going to give…

Video: A young good looking woman married an old man.

A young good looking woman married an old man. The marriage was pretty good except for the bedroom. The old man just couldn’t please her. One day…

A very distinguished lady was on a plane arriving from Switzerland.

A very distinguished lady was on a plane arriving from Switzerland. She found herself seated next to a nice priest whom she asked:“Excuse me Father, could I…

Video: The British Solution

A British man, a French man, and a Spanish man were caught stealing while traveling abroad. They were dragged before a stern judge, who sentenced each of…

Video: The 85-Year-Old Groom’s Wedding Night Surprise

Sarah had married Bob, a man much older man than her and she couldn’t help but worry about his health. To ensure he didn’t over-exert himself, she…

A nun was praying when a priest approached.

A nun was praying when a priest approached. The priest gently patted her shoulder and told her to follow him. The priest walked, and the nun quickly…

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *