The doctor looked at Joe with a serious expression and said, “I have good news and bad news. The good news is, I can cure your headaches. The bad news is… we’ll have to remove your family jewels.”

Joe stared at him in shock. “Excuse me?”

The doctor nodded. “You have a rare condition. Your private parts are pressing against your spine, and that pressure is causing your constant headaches. The only permanent solution is castration.”

Joe was horrified. For years he had suffered from terrible migraines, but this seemed like a price too high to pay. Still, after thinking about the pain he had lived with for so long, he finally agreed.

After the surgery, Joe left the hospital without a headache for the first time in twenty years. He felt relieved, but also strangely empty.

Trying to cheer himself up, he walked past a men’s clothing store and decided a fresh start deserved a fresh outfit.

“I need a new suit,” he told the salesman.

The elderly tailor glanced at him and said, “Forty-four long.”

Joe blinked. “That’s exactly my size! How did you know?”

“Been doing this for sixty years,” the tailor replied.

The suit fit perfectly.

“How about a shirt?” the tailor asked. “Thirty-four sleeve, sixteen and a half neck.”

Joe was amazed. Again, it fit perfectly.

“Shoes?” asked the tailor.

“Sure,” Joe said.

“Nine and a half E.”

Joe tried them on. Perfect again.

Then the tailor said, “How about some new underwear?”

Joe smiled. “Sure. Size 34.”

The tailor shook his head. “No, son. You need a 36.”

Joe laughed. “Finally, you’re wrong! I’ve worn 34 since I was eighteen.”

The tailor frowned and said, “Son, if you wear a 34, it’ll press your testicles against your spine and give you one hell of a headache.”

Joe fainted.