At a trial in a small town in Nebraska.

… the prosecutor called his first witness, an elderly grandmother, to the stand.

He walked up to her and said, “Mrs. Williams, do you know who I am?”

The woman replied: “Of course I know who you are, Mr. Rawley. I have known you since you were a little boy, and frankly, you are a disappointment. You lie, cheat on your wife, manipulate people and talk behind their backs. You think you’re somebody, but if you had any sense you’d realize you’re nothing more than a mediocre pencil pusher. I know exactly who you are.”

The prosecutor’s jaw dropped to the floor. Shocked, he pointed across the room to divert attention and asked: “Ms. Williams…do you know who the defense attorney is?”

The woman replied: “Of course I do. I have known Mr. Carbuncle since he was a child. He is a lazy bigot with a drinking problem. He cannot maintain a normal relationship with anyone and is one of the worst lawyers in the county. On top of that, he has cheated on his wife with three different women, including your wife. Yeah, I know exactly who he is.”

The defense attorney looked like he was going to have a stroke.

The judge ordered the prosecutor and defense attorney to approach and whispered to them in a low but agitated voice,

“If one of you brats asks him if he knows who I am, I’ll put you both behind bars for life!”