A defense attorney, famous for being obnoxious and picking apart minor details, was cross-examining a forensic pathologist in court, attempting to dismiss the @utopsy report.

The lawyer asked in a deeply mocking tone, “Doctor, before you signed the certificate declaring the victim de@d, did you check his pulse?”

The doctor replied, “No, I did not.”

The lawyer continued, “Did you check his heartbeat?”

The doctor replied, “No, I did not.”

The lawyer raised an eyebrow triumphantly, “Did you check for breathing?”

The doctor said wearily, “No, I didn’t do any of those things.”

The lawyer immediately turned to the jury and declared loudly, “Well, ladies and gentlemen, this doctor admits he never checked the victim’s pulse, heartbeat, or breathing. How on earth can you be 100% certain that the man was actually de@d when you began the @utopsy?!”

The forensic pathologist let out a heavy sigh, looked the lawyer dead in the eye, and replied calmly:

“Because at that exact moment, the victim’s entire br@in had already been removed, placed in a jar of formalin solution, and was sitting neatly on my desk, sir. But… listening to your questions just now, I am honestly starting to wonder: maybe that br@in is currently wandering the streets, went to law school, and is standing right here playing trial lawyer with me!”