One morning, a wife looked out at the overgrown garden and turned to her husband.

“Honey, could you please help me clean up the garden?”

Her husband glanced outside and replied, “Do I look like a gardener?”

She sighed but tried again.

“Fine. Could you at least fix the bathroom door? It’s barely closing.”

He shook his head and said, “Do I look like a carpenter?”

Without saying anything else, the husband grabbed his jacket and walked out of the house.

A few hours later, he returned and couldn’t believe his eyes. The entire garden was spotless, the plants were neatly arranged, and the bathroom door had been perfectly repaired.

Smiling proudly, he turned to his wife.

“I knew you could do all of this by yourself!”

His wife crossed her arms.

“It wasn’t me.”

The husband looked confused.

“Then who did it?”

“John, our neighbor.”

The husband’s smile immediately disappeared.

“How much did you pay him?”

“I didn’t give him any money,” she replied. “He gave me two options: bread or s*x.”

The husband swallowed nervously.

“I hope you gave him bread.”

The wife looked him straight in the eye and said:

“Do I look like a baker? No..”