A husband and wife were celebrating 50 years together, so their three kids agreed to a Sunday dinner in their honor. 

“Happy Anniversary, Mom and Dad,” said Son #1, a tech executive.
“Sorry I’m late — system outage. Didn’t have time to get you a gift.” 

“That’s fine,” said the father. “We’re just happy you’re here.”

Next arrived Son #2, a real estate developer.
“Flew in between deals. No time to shop,” he said. 

“No problem,” said the father. “Glad you made it.”

Then their daughter arrived, a corporate consultant.
“Happy Anniversary! I’ve been slammed with deadlines and packing for a trip, so… no gift.” 

After dessert, the father stood up and said,
“There’s something your mother and I have wanted to tell you for a long time. We were very poor back then, but we worked hard and managed to send each of you to college. We loved each other deeply… but we never found the time to actually get married.”

The three kids gasped.
“You mean… we’re bastards?” 

“Yep,” said the father,
“- and cheap ones too.”