An elderly nun stopped by a large department store to buy a few supplies for the convent.

As she wandered through the pet and household section, something unusual caught her attention.

Sitting on the shelf was a sleek little handheld device covered in soft silicone with buttons on the side labeled:
LOW • MEDIUM • INTENSE

The sweet old nun picked it up curiously.

“Oh my,” she whispered. “This would be wonderful for poor Mr. Whiskers.”

Now Mr. Whiskers was the convent’s ancient cat — fat, lazy, and permanently sprawled across the chapel radiator like a retired king.

Every evening the nun had to rub his back for nearly half an hour before he would stop grumbling and fall asleep.

Delighted by her discovery, she carried the device to the checkout counter.

The young cashier took one look at the item and nearly swallowed his tongue.

His face turned bright red as he scanned it.

Trying to ease the poor boy’s embarrassment, the nun smiled warmly.

“It’s for our cat back at the convent.”

“I… see,” the cashier croaked.

“Yes,” the nun continued happily. “He absolutely loves being massaged. Usually I have to do it with my hands until my fingers go numb.”

The cashier stared silently at the counter.

“But with this little machine,” she said proudly, “I can just switch it on and let it do all the work while he lays there shaking with happiness.”

The cashier froze.

The nun leaned in closer and added cheerfully:

“And if this one works well, next week I’m coming back to buy the extra-large version for the bishop.” 😂